From the Sandbox
By Sanders Lightfoot
11/25/2004 2:27PM EST
Courtesy of http://www.sportsinsights.com
Thanksgiving is more than just eating, sleeping and drinking; therefore I would like to take a few minutes to let you know that I am truly thankful for the following:
Rutgers vs. UConn at 10 AM on Thanksgiving Day, because if there is one complaint I have about Thanksgiving past it’s “there isn’t ever enough Rutgers football.”
Granny’s liquid rum “cake.”
Guys who bet bad Dallas teams simply because “it’s Thanksgiving Day.”
Ron Artest. It’s about time someone put innocent defenseless little guys with glasses in their place.
The media’s pre-occupation with Artest because it helps overshadow the fact that Stephen Jackson is a punk.
The NFL banning Dallas Clark’s “rump bump” end zone celebration, further proving “white men can’t jump.”
Any Terrell Owens end zone celebration.
Ashton Kutcher, because as long as he is around there is a chance that at the end of the day someone is going to show up and tell me that I’ve been Punk’d.
Annual Thanksgiving weekend touch football games. I mean, when else can a thirty year old guy pull a groin muscle?
Deep fried turkeys.
Deep fried pumpkin pies.
Deep fried anything.
The high and mighty South Carolina and Clemson alumni who undoubtedly never did anything stupid while they were college kids.
Over-produced, over-dramatic, inappropriate Monday Night Football broadcasts, because, quite frankly, it’s a nice alternative to over-produced, over-dramatic inappropriate porn.
Thanksgiving Day game props.
Washington getting 10.5 points.
Kansas City laying 3.
Cleveland plus 6.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Sanders Lightfoot, author and columnist, appears courtesy of 100 Proof Publishing and Sports Insights. Email your questions, comments and concerns to firstname.lastname@example.org