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From the Sandbox
By Sanders Lightfoot
9/29/2004 10:25AM EST
Courtesy of http://www.sportsinsights.com
You know how every once in a while you catch a glimpse of nostalgia on
television that is so Zen, so transcendental that it just blows your
mind. I am talking about something you may have seen ten or twenty years
ago. Maybe it was the “Mean” Joe Greene Coke commercial, or the first
time you saw the run and shoot offense, or that “very special episode”
of Diff’rent Strokes where Gordon Jump plays a child toucher.
When you experience these events the first time you enjoy them for what
they are;
however, you lack the capacity and wisdom to truly appreciate them for
what they mean. If you have no idea what I am talking about (and I
assume you are not alone) try checking out Michael Jackson’s 1992
“Remember the Time” video.
If you do not remember this video, which came during MJ’s black to
white, urrr, I mean Black or White era, it’s the Egyptian-themed opus
where Michael Jackson plays a court jester making inappropriate advances
towards a Pharaoh’s wife. The video co-stars Eddie Murphy, Iman and
inexplicably casts an HIV-sensitive Magic Johnson as the Pharaoh’s
security guard. The absurdity of the video was apparent even a decade
ago. But its deeper meaning did not reveal itself until I took in the
reprise last night.
It was here that it occurred to me that all four of these former
Hollywood power brokers stand a better chance of sharing a reality
TV-themed dwelling with Corey Feldman and Emmanuel Lewis than making an
impact on pop culture in the near future. In fact, I have not seen such
an implosion of “has beens” since, well…since Tampa Bay and Oakland met
up on Sunday night.
I realize that in this day and age of economic parity, there is little
reason for NFL
teams to break down their rosters and build from scratch, but something
tells me the
alternative to rebuilding should never include hiring Norv Turner as
your head coach and parading Tyrone Wheatley out as your starting
tailback.
Speaking of rebuilding, how bad are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Hey
Chuckie, here’s a hint: You have to realize where your strengths lie.
For example, my bread and butter should be thirty something divorcees at
the gym. Your bread and butter should be a stifling defense and a potent
ground attack. I promise to lay off the sorority functions and all-night
techno raves, if you promise to execute a simple ball control game plan.
Deal?
On a related note, didn’t the NFL promise to do something about these
clunker games in primetime? Wait a minute. That’s a question. I’m
getting a little ahead of myself.
Do to a pending government lean, this virtual real estate is for sale,
but in the
meantime the folks at Sports Insights have allowed me to pose some of
life’s more
interesting inquiries here, in this week’s addition of….freaklently
asked questions:
They’re changing the nickel? Really? We’ve got nothing better to do?
Isn’t this akin
to releasing the entire Eight is Enough series on DVD? Other than a few
collectors, who
cares?
Doesn’t anyone else feel like the Yankees are starting to look a lot
like….like, the
Yankees?
Hillary Duff is only 17? Years old?
How many guys from Alabama just said “Huh?” (Editor’s note: How many
Sports Insight
staffers just said “Huh?”)
If the NHL has a labor dispute and there is no one there to hear it,
does it make a
noise?
Just because I am 2-0 in my featured plays, do not feel obligated to
check out this
week’s picks, pans and props:
Pick of the Week: Miami (+6) at home against the Jets. Yeah, the
Dolphins really are that bad, but don’t you just feel that the first
Herman Edwards “gosh darn it” infused tirade of the season is on its
way?
Pan: ESPN’s Hustle. Seriously, no joke here. That sucked.
Props: Will the Indianapolis Colts will be the first team in NFL history
to score 100
points in a single game? Yes (-500)
Props to T.B. for not buying any points on this week’s BYU game.
OK guys, see you next Tuesday.
Sanders Lightfoot, author and columnist, appears courtesy of 100 Proof
Publishing and Sports Insights. Email your questions, comments and
concerns to
sanderslightfoot@hotmail.com
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