SportsInsights

[Ed. Note:  In a cooperative joint media venture between Sports Insights and Viacom, Jack Bauer, CTU Director of Field Operations and star of Fox’s “24”, penned this week’s NFL recap.]

A profitable Sunday following a profitable Saturday is about as common as a commercial interruption during the season premier of “24” presented by Dodge without commercial interruption.  But after an outstanding day yesterday, we were looking to come back twenty-four hours later and make the impossible happen, no matter what improbable plot twists came our way.

10:00 The public was down big coming into an NFL Sunday for the first time all season.  The lineboard and ticket punchers were put on red alert.  We were expecting an unprecedented early morning rush, but it did not come.  Our communication system was knocked down, and I suspected that it was the handy work of that South American drug lord Ramon Salazar.

 10:01 Lineboard Manager Steve Stone informed me that a storm system had casued a satellite connection to be temporarily lost, and our computer staff was quickly working to rectify the problem.  However, to be sure that Salazar was not behind any of this, I ordered CTU Field Agents to mobilize and keep an eye on things.

10:02 – 12:00 The phones were back up just in time to reveal some interesting trends.  Most notably, it appeared that the public liked favorites on the road giving anywhere from three to six points.  I found this quite interesting.  Historically, home dogs meant good things were going to happen, but then again Salazar does not believe in history.  When I informed Steve Stone of this, he inquired about my state of mind, openly wondering if my undercover assignment with Salazar had taken a toll on me.

12:01 I realized that I had not showered.

12:02 – 13:00 My worst fears were materializing before my very eyes.  Then, shortly after kickoff, we got the call.  We needed the Detriot Lions at home getting three points for the largest Sunday afternoon decision of the entire season.  This was big.  To make things worse, we needed Houston plus six and the NY/NJ Jets plus three.  While both teams were at home, I suspected that Salazar was behind this move, and I did not like it one bit.

13:00 – 16:00 A lull in the action made me a bit suspicious.  Detriot looked as if they were going to let Oakland back in the game, for some inexplicable reason Dom Capers refused to run out the clock, and the Jets were gasping for air.

16:01 I ordered a burrito.

16:02 – 16:15  Before we could call in a hot actress to play my daughter and join CTU as a full time agent (despite the fact that she only has a GED and an Associates Degree from community college), the Detriot game ended giving us the season’s biggest daytime win.  In addition, we picked up another major decision in the Houston game in spite of Capers’ brain lock.  The Jets went to overtime before losing to the Giants, but the decision proved to be a push on most tickets, helping ease the sting.  The rest of the afternoon games resulted in a sweep on the sides, with the exception of Jacksonville at Baltimore, and even that didn’t hurt too bad. 

16:15 Although things seemed to be going our way, I was pretty sure it was all just a diversionary tactic by Salazar.  Although we were on pace to have our best Sunday of the year, I knew the real action was yet to come.

16:16 Sure enough, my ultra-paranoid instincts were right.  We needed incredibly large decisions in the late games.  Most folks liked Cincy, St. Louis and Philly on the road.  It was going to shape up to be an interesting afternoon.

19:00 It finally came, the call I had been waiting for.  It was Salazar.  I was not in the mood for pleasantries.  We got right down to business.  He told me that we needed Arizona, San Fran and Atlanta.  I told him I knew that.  But he told me that what I did not know was that there were a ton of exotics waiting to go off once the Bengals, Rams and Eagles covered.

19:01 I sweated it out, secretly wondering where my on-screen daughter was.

19:02 San Fran won outright, breaking up most teasers and delivering a major decision in our favor.  The Cardinals also won and blew up exotics.  We were rolling, reaching our highest one day win total of the season.  But before would could count our money, the Eagles and Cowboys spoiled our plans.  Both teams covered, delivering us a blow.  But we had built up quite a little nest egg.

20:30 We had the Sunday night game left, and Salazar had gone into hiding.  He was content on letting us enjoy our biggest Sunday total of the year. 

22:00 Greenbay covered on the half and won outright, helping us reach heights that have  eluded us during the Salazar reign.While we were on top of the world, I was careful not to get too high.  I knew better than anyone that anything could happen in 24 hours.  Especially every Tuesday at 9 PM on Fox.